Penis Buddy


Due to popular demand, I have created this as a pattern!

Have you ever wanted to have a penis just for yourself? Were you not naturally blessed with the gloriousness of the rod? Well, fret no more! You can now have your very own Penis Buddy!

Annnnnd He’s he’s hairy! Of course, you can always keep him bald, if you like. But he might get a little chilly in the winter.

You will need to be a subscriber to view this pattern. However, you can purchase a copy from Ravelry.


  • You will need two colors of yarn. They both should be the same brand and type, so your buddy actually matches.
  • Your hook needs to be the smallest recommended for the yarn. This is because we will be making really tight stitches so that the stuffing doesn’t fall out. We wouldn’t want to have a deflated buddy…
  • Small scissors.
  • Tapestry needle, or any other large, blunt tipped needle.
  • Stuffing of choice. You will need more than it appears since you will need to pack your buddy firmly, so he holds his shape.
  • Eye shadow, or Chalk Pastels.
  • Soft brush for applying the colors.

Stitches used in this pattern.

Slip Stitch: Insert your hook. Pull a loop through to the front. Pull the same loop through the loop that is already on your hook.


Single Crochet: Insert your hook. Pull a loop through to the front. Yarn over and pull through both loops on the hook.


Half Double Crochet: Yarn over. Insert your hook. Pull loop through to the front. Yarn over and pull through all three loops on the hook.


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Author: René

I sharpen pencils for a living.

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